Night Shift Nurses
Truly the greatest animated work of all time.
Having spent the last approximately two months of my life buried in work and video games, I haven’t had much time for anime, much less dubbed anime, so I decided I should start 2012 properly. And what could be better than starting the year with dubbed scat porn? Dubbed scat and torture porn! And not just any dubbed scat and torture porn. This one is directed by Kip Kaplan, the unsung genius responsible for the apex of auditory bliss that was the Garzey’s Wing dub. And it’s a good thing that this dub is directed by the demigod Kip Kaplan, because only a director of his caliber could hope to capture the deep, complex, thought-provoking dialogue and imagery featured in Night Shift Nurses. Really, would you trust anyone but the supernova of awesome that is Kaplan to tackle such hard hitting issues such as whether or not one can truly love someone if they are unwilling to eat their feces? (The answer is no.)
Night Shift Nurses falls into the ‘extra rape’ category in the four greater hentai ‘plot’ categories that I arbitrarily just came up with (plot hentai, harem hentai, extra rape hentai, and vanilla hentai). The extra rape category is basically the ‘harem’ category, but more pathetic. In the ‘harem’ category we have a man who has an entire gaggle of women (yes women are geese) that wish to use his meat stick, this is naturally a pretty common male fantasy; after all if you find me a man who wouldn’t be pleased if he woke up tomorrow and a slew of attractive women wanted to suck his dick, then you will have found a homosexual. With ‘extra rape’ hentai it’s goes for the more realistic route in that the succulent females originally do not wish to indulge in the male character’s genitals, however the fantasy then becomes collecting the harem of women through excessive rape, and eventually making them dependent on that rape, because everyone knows that women are naturally whores who wish to have every one of their orifices filled with a penis (even lesbians want dicks). In short, it’s probably the most juvenile and wretched fantasy possible in pornography. (Which explains why it’s my favorite type of hentai.)
But Night Shift Nurses true glory isn’t in the rape and scatology, it’s in the provocative imagery and deep message that director Nao Okezawa places upon the audience. Yes on the surface it may look like a porn about a doctor raping a bunch of women and doing other fucked up shit to them, but it really is filled with poignant messages about the state of American society. I too was surprised that a Japanese pornography featured a message about America, but then I realized that this dub was the way that Night Shift Nurses was truly meant to be seen and that Okezawa’s masterful visuals were only half of the picture, and required Kaplan’s amazing audio work to truly get the most out of this gut-wrenching drama. (I’m sure the dubbing supervision of the illustrious Dick Tripwire didn’t hurt either.)
The brilliance is in the message! Doctor Hirasaka clearly represents the health insurance industry and his victims are the American populous, he blackmails his victims so that they have no choice but to allow the rape to continue, much like greed corporations can charge outrageous prices because they know the consumer requires their product, and the women grow complaisant to the rape, becoming dependent on it, and unable to change their situation, much like the inability to fix healthcare in the United States. But that’s only half the brilliance, Kaplan’s directing adds an additional layer to the entire metaphor as the stilted, amateurish voice acting given to Doctor Hirasaka represents the abject apathy that many insurance companies feel towards their victims, and the even more non-existent acting present in the rape victims represents the American populous’ willingness to be exploited by dastardly one-percenters, with their blood money sucked from the veins of middle America. The second half of the OVA lacks Kaplan’s superlative dubbing, losing some of the poignant impact, but the message is still strong. Hirasaka’s descent into more and more deranged acts shows how desperate large corporations are to exploit hard working Americans, and rampant depravity (such as Hirasaka eating the women’s shit) show that these morally bankrupt business moguls don’t care where they’re income comes from as long as they can steal from those less fortunate.
But wait, the genius of Okezawa and Kaplan doesn’t end there, Night Shift Nurses also covers the other side of the spectrum. Remi Shinjyo is only able to be blackmailed into the rape because of her own mistakes, showing us that if she had done her job correctly and worked hard she would never have been put in this position; this parallels to the lazy, unmotivated filth that clogs America, sucking on the collective tit of entitlement programs while refusing to work hard and elevate themselves above the need for government intervention. Not only that but Doctor Hirasaka is only allowed to go about his sick sex games because Narumi (the leading practitioner) is instructing him to do so for her own benefit. This is obviously a metaphor for the crony capitalism that goes on in Washington and shows that without the pesky government oversight and unfair regulations/burdens placed upon businesses, healthcare companies wouldn’t be able to metaphorically rape their customers because the market would be free and the inherent freeness of the market would fix everything by being free; thus removing the bloated state-controlled economy that sucks because it’s not free and lacks the freeness of a free market.
Unfortunately, in reality, Night Shift Nurses‘ dub is not some horribly strawman political message about the American healthcare industry. I say unfortunately for two reasons. The first being that, despite by hatred of any overly political film/show/whatever that bludgeons you over the head with the message until you no longer give a shit about it (example: “Eco-friendly” films like FernGully and shit), I would genuinely like to see a scat-porn try to be politically relevant; not because it would do it well, but because it would be hilarious to see someone discuss the pros and cons of an expansionist foreign policy while gushing gallons of fecal matter from their colon. The second, and more relevant issue that makes me wish this dub really was some poorly handled allegory, is that the dubbing itself is complete shit. Not the good kind of shit like Garzey’s Wing where you can listen to it and just laugh at the incompetence, the bad kind of shit where everything is flat, boring, poorly written, and just has no redeeming values. I’m not expecting much out of a dub of Night Shift fucking Nurses, but they could have at least made it entertaining.
I personally don’t know how you could get a group of people to dub something where every episode features at least one instance of literal shit fountains, and not have one person suggest that maybe they could dub it entirely in Ebonics or in seventeenth century Victorian English, or I don’t know, recolor the entire thing black and white and pretend it’s a silent film.
Final Score: S- (Because I still refuse to rate porn on an ‘A’ to ‘F’ scale)
Rating System 2.0
Ratings are not directly reflective of the quality of the vocal performances. Simply how much I enjoyed watching the show in English. Usually, a higher grade means overall higher quality, but sometimes lower-tier performances can work with a show and make it enjoyable to watch, while not being so-bad-it's-good.
A - Great.
B - Good/Above Average.
C - Mediocre.
D - Bad/Below Average.
F - Horrible.
S - Amazingly Horrible.